Close friends and dear family members have begun asking me how to best talk to their toddlers and young children about my daughter Elsa. These lovely people want to make sure that they're telling their sons and daughters things that align with how my husband and I wish Elsa to be known and understood.
I'm so blessed to have these wonderful people in my life.
The trouble is, I'm not exactly sure yet. My next-oldest daughter, Cecilia, is 3-and-a-half, and we haven't crossed that bridge. I'm not exactly sure when that will happen because Elsa's abilities and challenges have been a part of Cecilia's life since the day she was born. And so far it seems she doesn't have any pressing questions that need answering.
But in the meantime, how can I help these thoughtful parents deal with questions that their kids have now?
There are some fantastic picture books out there that help children understand the sometimes substantial differences between themselves and others. No children's picture book aligns precisely with Elsa's special needs. That would be a tall order.
But I recently came across a book that comes pretty darn close: Just Because.
Why doesn't Elsa talk? Why doesn't she walk? Because that's just how God made her. And honestly, "just because" is the only answer that makes sense to me, too, and I'm old enough to understand spontaneous chromosome deletions.
So with great pleasure, I present myfirst Kidlit Spotlight: Just Because by Rebecca Elliott.
Just Because is a story about a boy named Toby and his sister Clemmie.
Clemmie is Toby's big sister. She can't walk or talk. But in Toby's eyes, she is amazing. In fact, she's a lot like a princess. (She doesn't "have to do much," and get's to "sit and look pretty.") Clemmie is never mean. She makes sweet sounds and funny faces. She has an awesome wheelchair and big curly hair. Most of all, Clemmie lets Toby be himself, without question or critique. She is his best friend, and he loves her. Just because.
It's so, so very sweet and (for a momma) a real tear jerker! I related to it in every way. Elsa is a best friend to everyone who lives under our roof. We wouldn't have the first idea how to exist without her. We don't define or understand her based on how she compares to us. We let her be her, and appreciate her subtleties and uniqueness.
In the end, isn't that how we all wish to be viewed and understood?